Agnetta. Bjorn. Benny. Anna.

I cant get them outta my head!

Now i truly understand my mum’s closet. SERIOUSLY.

I remember i used to tease my mum and say her sense of fashion is well .. so .. 60s and how i’d say i’ll never wear those clothes she used to wear.

But after buying the ABBA album …………….

i just got so hooked. and i love their fashion statements! It’s so loud and hippie and gosh. Just look at the platform shoes! never have i thought that it was cool until i see it on them.

this is how show biz roll babeh.

And thts how it’s done in the good ol days. Disco music was so so different in the old days. and im super duper impressed with their composing abilities! The music is so addictive i swear .. the minute u have the cd on, you just feel like dancing all night.

My fav is the song that got them up and about. Waterloo @ 1974. Gosh.. thats a decade before i was even born. and i believe thats the song my parents dance about and got to know each other and maybe your parents too.

Gosh i simply love hippie music. It just spreads a lot of love peace and harmony.. like their first single ever.. People Need Love @ 1972.

i just wish someday my kid will also appreciate good music like these.

-J

It’s stressed spelled backwards!

GEDDIT?

***

Anyhu, havent been screaming about fashion lately. It’s one of those things girls like to talk about when they’re , vain, i guess.

Leather jacs. Theyre IN this season. I love it cause it really reminds me of peyton-emo-oth-chick.

And i love my Topshop LJ from the gang. <3 <3 <3

Sometimes i go home, stare at it. and i wear it and camho… just to destress a little.

like this.

***

even my mirror got decals. hehe

***

and lookie what i did during friday lunchie.

hahhaa.. early preparation for deepavali 2008. kekeke.. 

***

i AM predicting that i will be having jap fud next week.. mon-thurs, bfast lunch and dinner… sushehhh! it is my kinda dessert!

-J

Have you ever been in a position in which you feel … angry. cheated. bullied. in an extreme lost. failed. stressed. optionless. depressed. desperate. and sad?

well that’s what im facing right now.

i cant write about it. i can complain about it but  … i doubt anyone can help me at all.

sometimes unfairness is not an option. it just happens out of the blue. puts you in a crossroad. and have you deal with it with whatever strength you may have. but in the end, both ways are dead end. 

its like a never ending headache and it just gets worse.

*

-J

i was thinking to myself whether i should quit coffee before i become a coffee zombie.

SLept a minimal amount of 3 hours yesterday and came to work with a super heavy head. and then face stressful emails and the only thing i have in my head is pls go get some java or i’ll faint soon.

I should have just drink green tea but there’s nothing more addictive than the smell of strong coffee beans ala espressos or lattes before u start work. everything just dont go as smooth if i dont get my coffee fix.

bleh.

Remember richie rich who have his own mcdonalds?

If im rich like him, i’d like a starbucks for myself. I can drink whatever frap i want anytime, anyday. Phew. I’d even have my barista deliver them to me. phew.

Of course, only the cute, handsome, single, tall, dark and handsome may apply.

*

-J

my own version of lolcats. :(

seriously. i hate stresss. but im always in a position in which i will feel like exploding because of … a lot of things.

Like for example.

today while im working on an EXTREMELY-URGENT-PPL-CAN-DIE kinda assignment and my application crashed. like wtf? everyday its working fine but on the day i need it the most it crashes. So i reinstall it for 1000000000000 times. and still it cant work. roar. and .. phew.. there’s so many other things. i just dont know whether i wanna relive the whole drama in my head to pen it down.

My workload. gosh . dont even get me started on this. Sometimes i dont know why i work so hard for. To afford more luxuries? Im already a posh spice i dont think i need more of it wtf. i dont exactly need to earn more than i should. i dont exactly need to do the things i do now. i dont know why im always doing charity work. you know.. because i know you and you know me and we’re kinda friends then i will do it for you just because were friends that kinda thing? i dont know why i am so cincai with people that sometimes i dont mind people bossing me around if it makes them happy etc.. i just wanna enjoy doing my thing and not let my busyness and stress and personal things gets involved with each other and then drama begins.

OK. fug it. that’s just me emoing. all of that did not happen because im just really very loaded with work and datelines and everything all in one that im beginning to stress out.

and fuking microsoft just makes my day even better.

ergh.

if only i have like.. 72 hours a day.

-J

WHY is it so unbelievable that i have black hair now =.=

Some people even ask me to MMS to them cause they dont believe it. 

And anyways… this is specially for cheryl alllllll the way @ michigan. i miss u beb. ahha.. c.. it’s jet black zomg.

Im so not used to it. It’s so common!! and normal!!! 

***

going to gym with sore muscles is so wrong. couldnt stand teh very ganas yoga instructor but its ok.. i manage to come out from class alive. muscle pain everywhere. T_T

but retail theraphy afterwards! so happy.

while driving home there’s a stupid car who braked all of a sudden while cruising on the middle lane. Like brake 0 kmph brake. and there’s nothing in front of him. like wtf. so angry. high beamed and honk at that idiot and drove to the fast lane only to be stopped by a 40kmph car on the fast lane.

seriously. i dont get it with people lepaking on a fast lane. wanna drive slow then move out of the way lor. hiu. 

-J

zomg. 

i think… all girls like sushi. but anyhoo… ZOMG.

ITS BACK! ITS BACK! ITS BACK!!!

RM2 KAITEN BELT PROMO IS BACK! ayamsohappyzomg.

I wouldnt actually promote this on my blog but since, being the regular customer to sushi king and they practically see my face everyday there.. and the manager was so baik hati, my katsu curry comes with 2 eggs (zomg) and extra vegetables (ZOMGGG) i super super super love sushi king for their generosity(now) and hence lets go and eat all the expensive sushi at RM2! muahaha.. :D starts next monday people! get readeh!

J e n

i am SO not used to be black headed. Seriously i look at the mirror and i dont know who she is. Black hair? It’s so not me. 

But i want to be black headed. i Kinda like the idea of being low profile, staying out of the limelight, being a nobody, being NORMAL… wtf.

***

Okay so i selamba went to work this morning as usual.. got ready, stared at the anonymous black hair girl in teh mirror and then grab my bag and keys and left home. Went into the lift…

and then there was this family in the lift and i was standing in front and the little girl at the back told her mum..

” Mummy.. there’s a star..”

Mummy says “ No, there is no star in the lift”

“No .. no .. there’s a star.. UP THERE!!” *points at me*

Mummy went “Oh … hmm.. ya… a starr”

“i want a star too...”

I was standing in front.. and i was smiling. Hahaha.. i dont know whether i should say sorry for influencing her 3-4 year old daughter on a star tattoo.. or just walked off the lift and enjoy my monday..

but it kinda make me realize that sometimes.. Kids are so  honest grownups should really learn from em.

***

I dont know how long i can last being black haired. But i hope i wont gatal and bleach my hair by the weekend.

phew.

-J

***

For the record, i dyed my hair in the weekend and i have jet black hair now. :D

<3
-J

a simple lunch with my colleague today leads to this post.

i was talking to maya over sushi, on our fitness goals and we’re kinda sorta talking about what actually motivates us for a workout and in the end what kills the motivation. The chat actually started from a book discussion - How to get from where you are to where you wanna be etc . or was it some other book. i forgot.

but anyways. I gave it a thought and it can actually be a lot of things. Like, a partner , friend or family member who can tag along with you when you go to gym or a friend who’d motivate you to go for a run even if you dont feel like it. That person plays such a huge role that if he/she does not pester you to move your butt outta that comfort position you’re in, you wont move an inch.

There can be many other things that works as a motivator as well. Like for example. An idol with an Effin hot body, Or a thinspiration website which you frequent everyday. Or perhaps, the beauty magazine you buy weekly just to see whats the in thing is, and apparently being fit and healthy is. Or just the plain mindset that you CANNOT be anywhere neaR 10 grams overweight, like EVER. And also maybe perhaps, you’re just the kind of person who dont really have much things to do and you’re motivated in a way to spend your time in a gym, working out, sweating… as simple as that.

i was still thinking about it as i drive my way to the gym after work.

***

after my yoga class… i think i know what motivates me.

To be honest, after few months of not attending or practising any stretching or exercise.. i was so static that i was suffering the whole week with a hamstring muscle pull when i started back on gym. I didnt want to go to a yoga class straight away because i know that would be suicidal. I started slow with 2.5km runs everyday on the female workout area. Then i roll out my mat and do Yoga for an hour, on my favourite poses. I wasnt as flexible anymore due to the hiatus. But then i slowly got back on track. After the poses, i’d spent half an hour on the weight machines and then have my bath, reach home and died literally straight away. That was my routine for two weeks now. I didnt exactly know what motivates me but i am very sure that i would not want my money to be put on waste by signing up in a gym and not utilizing it. 

Today i felt like i was ready. Ready to start back on classes. So… i joined the advance yoga class. :D hehehehehee.. :D 

Boy did it feel good. It was such a good class that i was happy that im still able to do a lot of things i thought would have been a goner. In fact.. i can even do poses that i couldnt before this!

The instructor wasnt as good as the ones in Yogazone. I forgot his name but he wasn’t very good in timing and Azmi (formerly YZ’s Ashtanga instructor) was wayyyyyyy better at doing his thang. Altho the class was very similar with azmi’s, this particular instructor did not really pay attention to the students but just on the poses and trying to get as many poses to be done in an hour itself.

I wouldnt say its a bad thing.. but i always like instructors who paid attention to their students more. And i particularly like instructors who teach new things. And yes! This instructor thought a few new poses and some which i knew, mostly advance poses and i was trying them out, then laughed at my own silly failures.. and practically humoured the two guys beside me. But still.. it was a good class and i love the feeling.

It hit me later on that i know what actually really motivates me. Especially when it comes to Yoga. 

I love it when im able to do certain positions, certain poses that’s difficult or advance.. or something that makes people think no one can do it when they see it the first time. I like the feeling of acomplishing a pose. The sweat dripping from my head from the concentration and focus i put into the pose. Even if it’s just a simple pose.

I like it when i improve, every class, every lesson.

I still remember back when i first started yoga.. i couldnt last doing a downward dog for 3 breaths. But now? … Now i can stay in the downward dog position for at least 5 to 10 minutes, while chatting or nonchalantly scratch my back. Back when i first started.. i thought a forward bend was just mere touching your fingers  on your feet. But now? Thanks to my all time fav teacher in YZ, i can do a forward bend with my stomache on my thighs and my forehead resting close to my shin. i can lock my fingers safely on my feet and savour the sensation of the whole stretch. The feeling was just pure satisfaction.

There’s pain involved, but most of the time… the satisfaction sorta overcomed everything. And that satisfaction became a motivation for me to want more outta my classes and practices.

I wouldnt say im an expert in yoga. im just a practitioner. I still cant do a lot of things. Like for example, a hanumanasana (Monkey Pose) aka the split.. i swear i dont think i can ever do it.. but who knows.

There are a lot of poses which i thought i couldnt do at first… but class after class, practice make perfect and with practice and determination.. comes satisfaction, when you finally achieve it.

The harder the pose, the more satisfaction gained when you finally able to do it. It does not come usually on your first try. It comes with practice, breathing, letting go, having your mind focused, concentrating on the limits of your own body, and trust in yourself that you can do it, if not today, then someday.

It’s a little too long to read, my post. But i do hope, if any of you who really do read this, who find that yoga is not your journey, or your kinda activity… or any negative thoughts towards yoga…..

i shall share with you a story told by one of my fav instructor back in YZ.

Everyone of us were born doing yoga. Trust me when i say this. You’re in a child’s pose for 9 months in your mum’s stomache. You do the corpse pose everyday after you’re born. 

Ask any KID, anywhere.. to do ANY yoga position.. and they CAN do it.

WHY? It’s very simple. Kids dont have any stress.. they dont have anything to worry about. They dont think about money. they dont think about work. They can be friends with anyone.. no enemies.. basically they are Stressless and happy people! and they dont have to think about any problems or anything.. So you teach them a yoga pose, and instantly.. they can do it. Because they have nothing troubling them in their minds.

But US? ADULTS?

Everyday we worry about not having enough money. Not being good enough. Work issues. Friends. Family. We are loaded with unwanted stress. Problems. Things we dont have to worry or think about but we just cant empty our minds for a few seconds without thinking of something. 

That, is US. And THAT.. is the reason why we always say we cant do this. we cant do that… we cant do this pose.. we cant do that pose.. Because WE THINK we cant. Because our minds were so fulled with unwanted thoughts and stress and problems.. that it can’t be emptied for a second, to use it to focus on just a simple posture. 

If we let ourselves go for a second. Or at least an hour a day in a yoga class. Empty our heads. And just forget about what happened throughout the whole day. Forget what you ate for lunch. Who took your things. who scolded you.. or anything at all.. Just focus your thoughts on your poses and breathe. If we really empty our minds and let ourselves be free.. we can do ANY pose we want to.

Do not give up if you think you can never do yoga. Because impossible is nothing. and You can do it, if you want to, if you think you can. You just gotta try a little harder next time. And trust me, when you can do it, that will be the motivation that’ll keep you going. to greather lengths.

***

Alright. This is getting too wordy and im kinda tired from my achievements today. :D Time to sleep and thank you for spending your time reading my thoughts. 

Namaste.