E.E. Cummings once wrote; ‘To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

 
Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. And, of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. 

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. But, once in a while, people push onto something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because, it’s only when you’re tested that you truly discover who you are. And, it’s only when you’re tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist; somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. And, beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in, were we a part of someone’s life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone else’s life, and not even know it.

Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.

Someone once said; ‘It’s the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me? I just wanna live a life I’m gonna remember. Even if I don’t write it down.

***

Jen

yesterday i met a guy that changed a lot of perspective i have in a lot of things.

In short, he is kinda like Larry Paul in Ally McBeal. The kinda guy that you hate when you first see him. Then everything he says kinda makes you know that he is a male chauvinist and his ego is rocket high. But the next thing you know he makes sense more than you can make money. And after the meet, you just miss the feeling of having him around. Having him to argue with. Having his different and fresh ideas running in your head, drilling you with verbal diarrhea.

oh well. i like the feeling. but i don’t like the thinking that comes after that.

The thing about life is that it is actually so simple that people make it complicated just for the heck of it. I don’t fancy politicking, drama lamas, people squabbling among each other, backstabbing, lies, more lies, you get the gist of it. It just irks me even more. And the more i dislike it, the more it happens. The more tragedies unfold in front of my eyes. The more sad and depressed i feel. The more sighing, complaining and endless rant on everything that happens in such bad timing, and more often than not, i blame it on lack of luck. bleh.

i’ve got a new way of thinking about it all yesterday.

Whether it was maybe “thanks” to the guy or not, i have no inkling. but … i definitely felt better.

I have always hated the phrase “EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON”. Seriously. I don’t see the reason why people are blind. Or dies in a tragic accident. Or family killed in earthquakes. Or your day is so happy and fine and suddenly you just fall and break your leg or something like that. And if anyone say that line in front of me when such a thing happens, i will explode. Seriously, that is like the most inappropriate words to use when such a thing happen. Yes i believe in God and i know he have plans for everyone…

but does anyone at all deserves to die? I don’t think so. I think everyone deserves to live until 80 and have 40 grandchildren. I believe everyone should be married, one day. I KNOW there is someone out there for everyone and as lame as this may get… I TRUST that LOVE exist.

Sometimes being a girl makes it all easier, you know. As i would say girls have so much emotions in them that can make them feel things that men can not. I guess this is why men are from mars and woman from venus. or is it the other way round.i cant tell the difference. but anyhoo, opposites attract. And that’s the general rule that “SOMEONE” “says” it is. 

Rules. 

There are times i stare at the ceiling when i wake up in the morning and just continue staring at it for as long as i could. And i think to myself, who am i. what can i do. why am i here. what am i going to do today. gosh i think its time i wash my pillowcase…. and then i jump out of bed and go on with my daily routine. and the cycle goes on. day after another. question after questions.

yet i still don’t know the answer.

i guess i found what i was thinking all this while yesterday. Nope, not the answer. But i finally know that things, really do happen for a reason. And you will never know what the reason is, or why it happens, but there is a reasoning to everything. And knowing the reason… will not make your life any different than not knowing. so choose not to question, or explain, or even seek for the answer. Instead, let it come to you, and then… embrace it, with your arms wide open.

-J

and i actually meant it in a good way. long story short look what i found.

Taken few years back at Communic Asia. Damn I missed the one this year. Saw in facebook the pics they took there and suddenly i just miss everyone back at the old company.

It’s not exactly the best company to work in but indeed, i did share some fun silly dumb times there. This picture taken the day after i got my hair cut short~

I look like i was in the background! haha..

Miss everyone in the old office. and most of all.. office gossips! haha

 TPM. miss this place as well. 

haha.. a very young me. (:

<3 my ex

very very short but cool mohawk. 

many donkey years back i got my hair braided

many donkey months back i camho alot

many donkey days back i start to miss starbucks.

short hair looks good

long hair not bad either

sometimes i just like to look at random pictures to remind myself of the good and bad times i had. Sometimes we laugh and laugh and forget that time just passes by and the next thing we know, we miss all the fun and smiles and happy time together. And then we wish that time will slow down a little for us to live in the moment longer and cherish it better. Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened. (: